black in america, according to cnn

so since i don't watch much television, i can be pretty late to the game on things. but i've spotted this cnn commercial for the umpteenth time and had to feature it.

first, it's set in a barbershop, one of three media-designated habitats for african-americans (the others being the beauty parlor and chuuuuuuch) so you know there's going to be some jovial jive talkin'. that's what happens in barbershops, right?

during campaign season, i hated reading stories on black folks' collective musings about obama that were set in either one of these three places. it was such bullshit. they're not the only places we hang, ya know. we also tend to hit up a starbucks every know and then.

but that doesn't quite fit with the exoticism associated with "the other." doesn't quite make us look so distinguishable from "normal, regular" people. and with tripe like this, it may be a while before we can start looking at our similarities rather than our differences.

going up?

one of the paradoxes of racism

so, i received an informative text message today from my pal TM. it was loaded with stereotypes about african-americans and played off a spoof of (what else?) the new prez. i'm almost certain another friend of mine has gotten it, because it seemed familiar:

i just received my stimulus package from obama. it was a 3 piece chicken basket, kool-aid, and a ounce of weed. did u get urs?

sigh. so you can obviously see the ignorance threaded through this text. however, it's not just the racial ignorance here, people. we've got factual and grammatical errors as well! let's take a deeper look.

first, it's yet to be reported that barack obama has issued any individual 'stimulus packages'. ignoramus must be referring to the bush stimulus checks, which were issued last year. obama signed a broad national stimulus bill, which may or may not give ignoramus a leg up in this economy.

and if ignoramus, you know, read every once in a while, he/she would know that obama's liquid crack isn't kool-aid. it is indeed honest tea, which apparently is brewed right here in maryland. and seriously, honest tea is the TRUTH (except that it costs like $2. it's an occasional treat). the new york times reports that obama has his fridge stocked with honest tea (and possibly its spinoff beverage, honest ade, also the truth. pun intended).

okay, now on to grammar. the three items referred to in this imaginative individual stimulus package are in a list. a list in a sentence usually doesn't have a comma before the last item in said list. i didn't make that up. strunk and white told me so.

the term 'and a ounce of weed' is also incorrect. ignoramus fails to realize that in the english language we generally use the article 'an' before a vowel sound. 'ounce' isn't an exception to that general rule.

and if '3 piece' is used to describe the 'chicken basket', we should hyphenate that term. it appears to be a compound adjective. speaking of adjectives, 'chicken basket' sounds like a basket made of chicken, not a basket containing chicken. it should probably read 'basket of chicken' or something of the sort.

and 'did u get urs'? that must be some new-fangled texting speak.

what did we learn today? we learned that ignorance generally fails to be smart/clever because one of its main components is stupidity. or at least that's what i learned...

food for thought

unintentionally, this space has attributed many inches toward common edibles. first, there was our fructose-related flare-up. we also had p. diddy's inquiry into which poultry product better suited his taste. and our chicken emergency in florida.

here we go again. except this time, we're going global.

first up, obama chicken fingers from our german friends. this came to me by way of MM by way of DA (thx!). the official word is that the company wanted to capitalize on the obama mania. um, why can't they just sell crappy t-shirts not unlike many a street hustler? these fingers get two thumbs down.

then we have this ice cream product from our (former) commie buddies. my biracial brethren, you may be thoroughly offended, or at the very least, mildly taken aback.

furthermore, the packaging features a pink-hued smiley face with a bow (we can deduce that it's some sort of symbolic female figure) and a brown-colored smiley face bearing a huge grin and cool sunglasses (representing some sort of male figure perhaps). on the left side of the ad, we see the words 'chocolate in vanilla.' not 'and' but 'in.' as in 'in'-tercourse. or am i reaching?

with our cool new president, should other nations take a look at their own stereotypes against people of african descent? should we further educate them on what's appropriate in american culture, since they've decided to use our leader's image?

polynesian baby! (i'm a FOB, i'm a FOB)

those who've been talking to me lately know that the australian comedy 'summer heights high' is my new favorite television show. most likely because i don't watch that much television.

though there are scenes i find too disturbing to actually watch thoroughly, the series overall is a triumph and a subtle social commentary. it's meant to expose the pervasive ignorance bubbling beneath society's facade.

which brings us to jonah takalua, a 13-year-old character played by an actor in his mid-30s.

jonah is basically every dumbass male class clown you had to endure growing up. at times he's hilarious, but he's always obnoxious. and of course, there are underlying factors to his erratic behavior.

as i OD'd on SHH for the past two weeks, i'm trying to determine why i find jonah much more stirring than the series' other two leads. for one thing, i'm not even totally sure that i'm not offended by aussie chris lilley portraying a polynesian teen (blackface, anyone?)

jonah, a tongan immigrant, is a self-described FOB (which means 'fresh off the boat'). he loves hip hop and breakdancing is his passion. we find out that he can't read very well (though he manages to make marvelous use of the word 'dictation') and can easily make the connection between that particular insecurity and his propensity to act out in english class.

jonah also experiences subtle racism and prejudice which may also contribute to some of his problems. not that the kid doesn't know right from wrong, but for some odd reason you end up feeling for him.

sound familiar? i've been to public and private school and definitely encountered some jonahs in my life of all backgrounds. interesting how from the other side of the world, educational and social issues translate so well.

and i don't think it's just me. my pal MM, along with almost every TV critic i've read, also mentioned empathy for jonah, who initially comes across as possibly the most loathsome character in the show.

whatever you do, don't sleep on 'summer heights high'.

answering age-old questions

since normal folks with scant financial resources don't have the means to conduct personal taste tests, leave it to sean 'p. diddy' combs to lead the way.

he humbly took it upon himself to determine who has the better chicken: kfc or popeye's. he even rates each chain's side dishes to round out the gamut.

as someone noted in the comments on new york magazine's grub street blog, we should all be on standby for the watermelon taste test. conceivably, that's what's next, right?

and besides, everyone's aunt jackie makes the best fried chicken, you f*ck!

a jealous guy in our town?

i've been away, due mostly to fatigue brought on by work.

anywho, seems our good friend (and alumnus from by brother's alma mater) jeremiah wright has returned to give us his take on barack obama's infant presidency.

if you don't quite remember reverend wright, the video above should refresh your memory.

is it starting to come back to you? then obama gave that speech on race in philadelphia/my hometown/reverend wright's hometown? then wright went all q-dog at the national press club? then obama 'threw him under the bus'?

apparently, wright has never recovered from the fissure with obama. as evidenced by his remarks in selma, alabama of all places:

barack's name ain't jesus. barack ain't gonna improve your child's reading score.

we shall overcome, reverend wright. not just institutional inequality, but also our own egotistical opportunism. mind-blowing, ain't it?

1-800-blk-frnd

Black Friend Finder - watch more funny videos

funny stuff. check it out.

the proper way to reinforce stereotypes

once upon a time, i lived in florida. i worked for a chain of newspapers in a relatively small town. i don't think i ever totally adjusted (i'm back in a city) and i'm hoping the misunderstanding outlined below isn't indicative of the type of environment i left behind.

today in fort pierce, one of the towns we covered, a woman called 911 three times when mcdonald's ran out of mcnuggets. i'd first seen the story via the associated press, who painted the incident as rather innocuous. until we find out the woman was black folk.

sigh. i must admit, i did shake my head in mild disgust as i imagined the racist fodder that such an event could feed into. what the hell kind of person treats the lack of mcnuggets as an emergency? a black person, that's who.

to be fair, the woman reportedly called the police because she wasn't offered a refund after being informed that her menu choice wasn't available. she was offered another menu choice which obviously couldn't satisfy her craving for mcdonald's dubious "chicken" product. it seems she was more pissed about not being able to get her money back.

but that's not what the headlines will say. we'll just see what happens when african americans are denied the chicken they covet so much.