can it be i've stayed away too long...

a timely shout-out to the late MJ.

in my absence over the past few months, i've been wondering if this space was worth the maintenance. in addition to my regular obligations, posting started to feel like a bit of a chore. plus, was it disrespectful to my caucasian brethren? i don't think so, but when it comes to discussions of this sort, they seem to get most of the blame.

but i've realized ... this was an endeavor meant to show that laughter really can be the best medicine. we live in a complex world, folks. sometimes, we've gotta chuckle just to make it through the day.

and there is much more rant-a-rific fare out there than i'd originally anticipated.

with that, i'm going to try my damndest to keep this thing moving.

pickaninny for sale!

this one comes to me via my buddy DPB (by the way, her blog featuring amazing handmade jewelry can be found here).

i'll admit some naivete on my part, as i thought the days of the pickaninny were on the decline. i mean, with the rise of sasha and malia, how could one continue to view african-american children in such a way?

but gravity hit when i got this in my email. this is nuts. i guess this is what happens when your main source of inspiration is 'birth of a nation.'

the nose and lips clearly occupy most of the real estate on this doll's face, since that's what black folks look like. furthermore, there's NO shipping on this! get the ignorance that you can hug and squeeze while supplies last!

but what really ticks me off is the incorrect spelling of pickaninny in the tags at the bottom. wikipedia features alternative spellings, but here it's spelled 'pickannie'. pick annie? what the hell is that? it ties so nicely back into my ignorance begetting ignorance post.

chi-chi-chi-CHIA!!!

apparently, walgreens has decided to pull the obama chia pet from stores in tampa and chicago because of racism claims (i had my money on misplaced idolatry, but let's not go there).

hmm, i'm not personally offended by this, mostly because it's just a damn chia pet. i guess the big gripe is that once the buds begin to sprout from the obama bust, it starts to look like an afro. i don't know, i guess this one is just lost on me.

first of all, everyone is trying capitalize on this obama shit. you know, before he really screws up and they start burning more of these chia pet likenesses than buying them.

second, i'm wondering if people would be equally offended by a bush chia pet. i mean, it grows a bush (heh heh, bush). that's as dirty as you can get. i haven't yet seen this actual product, and hopefully we'll never see it.

third, i have no clue what type of seeds accompany chia pet pottery, but i'm sure it isn't a particular plant which would probably add more weight to the racism argument.

but i tend to respect the viewpoints of others so if you think the chia pet is indeed offensive, no probs. we'll just agree to disagree.

the ones cultural sensitivity left behind: eyewear edition

so originally, i was thinking about not doing a post on what could be this summer's hottest rage: slanties. there was no way i could express all the nuance and anger about this product as well as the ladies at disgrasian and racialicious. but something kept nagging me about this product, so i had to get it off my chest.

i'm seriously wondering who came up with this idea. i mean, did they not think that it could possibly be offensive to people of asian descent? and the product name? for real?

remember however, that it wasn't just the 'genius' who was inspired by the inuits (the true fucking geniuses) who's at fault. think of all the folks who went along with the idea, unwilling or unable to consider the implications. i mean, they managed to square away a production and marketing budget for this shit!

and these shits cost $75! during a fucking recession! they have the nerve to make you pay out the ass to be ignorant!

if you happen to be in the baltimore area on april 17, please don't go to this launch party. unless you're prepared to do battle.

black in america, according to cnn

so since i don't watch much television, i can be pretty late to the game on things. but i've spotted this cnn commercial for the umpteenth time and had to feature it.

first, it's set in a barbershop, one of three media-designated habitats for african-americans (the others being the beauty parlor and chuuuuuuch) so you know there's going to be some jovial jive talkin'. that's what happens in barbershops, right?

during campaign season, i hated reading stories on black folks' collective musings about obama that were set in either one of these three places. it was such bullshit. they're not the only places we hang, ya know. we also tend to hit up a starbucks every know and then.

but that doesn't quite fit with the exoticism associated with "the other." doesn't quite make us look so distinguishable from "normal, regular" people. and with tripe like this, it may be a while before we can start looking at our similarities rather than our differences.

going up?

one of the paradoxes of racism

so, i received an informative text message today from my pal TM. it was loaded with stereotypes about african-americans and played off a spoof of (what else?) the new prez. i'm almost certain another friend of mine has gotten it, because it seemed familiar:

i just received my stimulus package from obama. it was a 3 piece chicken basket, kool-aid, and a ounce of weed. did u get urs?

sigh. so you can obviously see the ignorance threaded through this text. however, it's not just the racial ignorance here, people. we've got factual and grammatical errors as well! let's take a deeper look.

first, it's yet to be reported that barack obama has issued any individual 'stimulus packages'. ignoramus must be referring to the bush stimulus checks, which were issued last year. obama signed a broad national stimulus bill, which may or may not give ignoramus a leg up in this economy.

and if ignoramus, you know, read every once in a while, he/she would know that obama's liquid crack isn't kool-aid. it is indeed honest tea, which apparently is brewed right here in maryland. and seriously, honest tea is the TRUTH (except that it costs like $2. it's an occasional treat). the new york times reports that obama has his fridge stocked with honest tea (and possibly its spinoff beverage, honest ade, also the truth. pun intended).

okay, now on to grammar. the three items referred to in this imaginative individual stimulus package are in a list. a list in a sentence usually doesn't have a comma before the last item in said list. i didn't make that up. strunk and white told me so.

the term 'and a ounce of weed' is also incorrect. ignoramus fails to realize that in the english language we generally use the article 'an' before a vowel sound. 'ounce' isn't an exception to that general rule.

and if '3 piece' is used to describe the 'chicken basket', we should hyphenate that term. it appears to be a compound adjective. speaking of adjectives, 'chicken basket' sounds like a basket made of chicken, not a basket containing chicken. it should probably read 'basket of chicken' or something of the sort.

and 'did u get urs'? that must be some new-fangled texting speak.

what did we learn today? we learned that ignorance generally fails to be smart/clever because one of its main components is stupidity. or at least that's what i learned...